That meant zero PDA and very few local outings unless he felt certain his reputation wouldn't be sullied by the "homosphere" within the few gay clubs ...nd events we did frequent. We loved to dance shirtless for hours with other fit and sexy gay men, sweating to the bass of house music as a sultry interlude to hurried hallway fucks and bathroom blowjobs. Tim and I would separate in the club, find our own playmates for the night then have hot anonymous hook-ups in various corners and sometimes,. Ralph was quite taken aback by the experience. While pleasurable, It was unlike anything he was familiar with. It wasn’t like driving to Cleveland. It wasn’t like playing a trombone in a top hat. It wasn’t like eating a cheese omelet. It wasn’t like having eight dollars and seventy six cents in your pocket. It wasn’t like when some guy tells you they play the trumpet and pull out a cornet. It wasn’t like a walk in a summer rain at dusk through the wood of bramble and cottonwood filled. I went through the front door and saw HER. In that instant, I understood with perfect clarity and went irrevocably insane. I imprinted on HER like a little duck. She was the living embodiment of the Feminine. In other words, puberty kicked in with absolute maximum force. Let me try to describe what I saw. She about 5’10 with a willowy frame. About 27 years old. She had long frizzy blond/brown hair (it was the 1980’s) with high cheek bones. she was wearing a white and brownish rabbit skin coat.. She would be less likely to question her position and the commands she would be given. Daily reminders of why she is alive and how much she loves me for sparing her could make this work. The fact that she was breathtakingly beautiful was only icing on the cake.My life could be lonely. I never come home to a hot meal. There's no one else here to clean the house, do the laundry and all the other boring chores I hated. How nice it would be to have another person in the house, to listen to me, to.
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